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How to Avoid a Relationship with a Married Friend
Marriage is a very close and intimate union between two people. When a person gets married, he/she also needs to adhere to his/her promises, obligations and commitment in order for the marriage to work.
However good or close your friends are to you, it is important that there should be a limitation of that closeness especially when you're already married. Crossing the borderline of that friendship by having a romantic relationship can only hurt other people's lives. A friendship that will develop into romance is an ideal one only if both people are not yet married.
What you'll need:
Good moral values, self-preservation, self-respect
1. Avoid spending too much time with your married friend if you notice that your married friend seems to cross the line of just being a good friend or co-worker. Some people consider their co-workers as friends since they work with them all the time and they can also talk more during their lunch breaks almost everyday.
You and your friend might do some things together because of work and he/she could even become your only trusted confidant but you also need to avoid too much closeness if he/she is married. So to avoid too much closeness that might lead to ruining the friendship, breaking your heart and tearing a family apart then distance yourself from a married friend especially if you start to observe that he/she keeps talking about how happy and inspired he/she feels when you're with him/her.
2. Make him/her realize that you're only there for him/her as a good friend and nothing more than that. People may become sensitive of your firm beliefs with regards to moral values and they could sense that in you. If this person can feel that you don't want to ruin the friendship that you have with him/her and will never take advantage of your closeness then you may even earn his/her trust.
3. Do not take the lead or let your married friend notice that you're starting to feel something special towards him/her. This could be difficult for you when his/her presence is already bothering you but for the sake of his/her marriage, try to do what's good for everyone. It would be better that you won't let him/her know about how you feel so that the friendship remains the same.
Your feeling may soon pass if you honestly tell yourself that he/she is not the right person for you since he/she is already married and you don't want to ruin this marriage as well as your friendship. It will be tough but it will be better in the long run for you and your married friend.
4. Try to weigh things first before believing in the things what your married friend say. Married people can have problems in their marital life and they tend to open up their personal issues to their close friends to gain attention and sympathy. Marital troubles will be solved in a day or possibly a few days but if one of the couple may have a chance to use another person to pour out a problem then he/she is starting to create chaos within the marriage itself that will only lead to a disastrous relationship.
Sometimes, these kind of people even want to develop a secret affair so that they can verbalize their marital problems to someone else to release the stress that they are feeling deep down inside. They will only give such promises to someone so that they can have a romantic relationship with them and does not even care if this person may end up heartbroken. This is very frustrating and morally wrong if ever you will follow this way of thinking and shall allow yourself to be used. Please save yourself from unnecessary trouble because there are available singles out there whom you can meet and openly proud to be with.
5. Place yourself in the shoes of his/her spouse. You know from the very start that it will be unfair to his/her spouse if you engage yourself in a relationship with this married friend of yours. Give due respect to yourself and find anyone who is single and can devote his/her time to you. If this married friend of yours is willing to cheat on his wife or her husband, that could be a warning sign for you as well if you decide to pursue a romantic relationship with him/her.
6. Write a formal written request to the management of where you work for a transfer if your married friend is a co-worker working in the same department if you want to avoid a romantic relationship with him/her. If possible, just try to cite other reasons on why you want to be transferred. You can also resign and take another job but be sure to be accepted first to this new job prior submitting your resignation letter.
Tips & Warnings:
It takes courage and confidence in oneself to make this important decision in avoiding a romantic relationship with a married friend even if you are in love with him/her. You might be thinking, what if he/she feels the same way?
It's really good to weigh and consider each possible consequence of your actions but in the end, you will still realize that even if he/she is not happy with his/her marital life, it's never good to start any unhealthy relationship because this couple should see a marriage counselor instead of having a secret and romantic relationship with anyone. Do not risk yourself of any harm when you know that the romantic relationship is morally wrong at the very beginning.
Remember that when an innocent spouse can feel that he/she was being fooled by someone he/she trusted in life, desperation will result and this person may even unintentionally kill another human being out of rage due to extramarital affair.